Relation-SHITS.

Hi peeps, I know its been a while since I last blog. its been a very hectic semester indeed. and plus all those crazy, bullshit, unnecessary dramas and stress that I put myself into lately. But now that I got it out of my system (at least I think I had), Hopefully I will be able to put my whole 'divine' attention and dedication into studying and also my beloved Law Society. Well, as boring as it may sound, I have too. Part and parcel of a being a student I guess. yawnnn. So many things had happened in the past few days. I don't even know where to begin.  

You know that moment when you are too afraid to be happy because whenever you get too happy, gravity just knocks you back down and pull you straight into the core of the earth and then you realised, hey, everything is just not going to be okay anymore. One moment you feel like you almost reach heaven, and then God decides to slam his mysterious plans at you, and BOOM, down you go again, to being dreadful and full of misery and pathetic. I can't remember the last time I was being happy. They say happiness of to be created, not seek. really? 

But then again, who am I to point fingers. I blame myself entirely, because I am an idiot, who does not learnt from my past and who trusts easily and falls for words instead of actions. I realised that anger makes people speak the truth, I guess I had to do what I did that night to get the truth out from his own mouth, and true enough, instantly I had it. The hard, cold truth. Don't you know, its all about the game plan baby. Two can play the game. As evil-sadistic-spawned-bitch-from-hell as I may sound, I had to do what I had to do. I admit that it was not easy hearing those hurtful words (I cried my heart out, mind you), but then again, I have no one to blame but myself.

Anyhow, I am glad that it is now over. You see, I hate all these mushy, emotional, lovey-dopey sickening romance or whatever you call it. It makes me sick. Emotions makes you weak! Why would anyone want to be involved in something that makes you weak and when it comes, it affects you, it screws you up and tumbles your world apart and makes you stupid and clingy and attached. So yeah, I don't mind growing old with nine cats. 

In  River Piedra I Sat Down and Wep by Paulo Coelho (my all time favourite author), he wrote, 

“I've been in love before, it's like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things.You think about the person you love for two minutes then forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love." 

Now, why would anyone wants to put themselves in that position? Is it not tiring and stupid and burdensome and STUPID? 

Some of you might criticised me for saying this, but hey, every woman to her own thoughts ya. So please save the comments and criticism to yourself. Thanks! 

My books are calling me now. Got to go read them all. LOL. Till then, adios and see you soon.

Cheers! 

“We don't always choose the best solution but we carry on regardless, trying to remain upright and decent in order to do honor not to the walls or the doors or the windows but to the empty space inside, the space where we worship and venerate what is dearest and most important to us.”