Insomnia.

Insomnia is really a bitch, isn't she? Anyway thanks dear insomnia, due to extensive unproductive 2 hours of rolling on the bed, trying my level best to sleep, I GIVE UP. Decided to just get up and write. Since there are so many random thoughts and questions and philosophies and rubbish running through my mind. Its exasperating isn't it, just when your head hits that fluffy, soft cotton pillow of yours and your body had accustomed to that warmth and oh-so-cuddly bolster, a hundred and one million thoughts and random awesome ideas just had to popped in your mind and keeps you thinking and thinking and thinking. URGH. Its like your brain has its mind of its own, where it suddenly decides to operates fully and actively in wee morning. Really brain? 

Anyway, I have been thinking. Deeply. And a lot. Well, I am a thinker and also a worrier. I think a lot, sometimes I'm afraid that my brain will just explode due to the excessive amount of thinking. Oh well. Cant help it. 

You know how some will say, let things be or everything will work out just fine or if it's meant to be, it will happen or have faith and stuff like that. PLAIN BULLSHIT. Really? Let things be, have faith bla bla really? I can't and I am not able to. Please. That's what the lackadaisical ones will tell you. Just punch anyone who say that to you, like seriously, especially the ones who use the Que Sera Sera phrase on you. People should stop comforting themselves and others with the above phrase or quotes or whatsoever. Be a realist. Think. Do you think all the comforting phrases/quotes/words in the world could save you if you do not move that ass of yours and work hard towards whatever it is that you want to achieve? 

I am sorry of you think that I am being harsh here (not really). 

Okay well lets be fair. Maybe some of you work that way, but not me. I just think that if you want something, you have to work for it. Period. Nothing comes easy and nothing comes free. The price of success are often the sacrifices you have to make. In the end, it will all be worth it.   

Cheers.

Goodnight. 

Joanna's 21st Birthday.

Yesterday's gathering with old friends were awesome. I think the last time we hang out like that was during our Foundation year in 2010. It was a good gathering, with a lot of crazy laughter and solemn moments when we looked back 4 years down the road. A lot of things had change. We changed. Each one of us, in our own different way. Its weird saying this, since we are all course mates, but the friendship drifted apart, I guess we were all too busy to even stop for a moment to think or even realised that it occurred, but yesterday, yesterday was different. It made ME think, like well, these were the small bunch of friends that I had in Foundation (mind you, I did not have any friends during my first few weeks in Foundation) but somehow, the wind must have blown us towards each others direction that day. We met each other and we just click. Like that. Magically. It's funny because I don't just 'click' easily to anyone. I made it sound like we were matches made in heaven right? HAHA. I remember feeling all lost and confused during my Foundation year, like a misfit soul I was. Yes I had trouble blending in. For a moment there, all I wanted to do was to quit uni and pack my bags and head straight back home, to my comfort zone, but I knew I could never do that. So I stayed and tried to survive (even till today) and I tried my utmost best to be friendly and jovial to everyone (hated every moment of it) and that was then I found these people (Joanna, Charlene, Alena). These were the three angels that helped me survived my Foundation year. If it wasn't for them, I would have hated my whole of Foundation years and I might even end up being worst than an anti-social. So thank you! 

It was Joanna's 21st birthday celebration yesterday (Aww that little girl is all grown up) in 1673 Bistro near Jonker Walk. It was a lovely place, very relaxing environment with a good live band. Not bad indeed. And then, the after party, of course! We had ours in Eleven Bar (rumoured to be a gay bar). The feeling was just.. cozy. Like home home cozy. Like the family kind of cozy. It was just.. Cozy. And there we were, a bunch of happy lads, drinking and being happy and inhaling the helium out of Joanna's 21st balloon just to hear each others voices goes off pitch. HAHAH IT WAS FUNNY!  

Le food, Classic Chicken Chop, is what I ALWAYS order when

 I really have no idea what else to order. 

From the right, Joanna (the star of the night), Me, Amanda and Charlene.

From the right, Augustus, Me, Celine

Outfit for the night, a simple white-blue dress.

 I still couldn't figure out why I close my eyes haha.

A tower of Asahi for us please. 

Margarita Cocktail. 

There's a storm approaching. Nice weather to sleep in but I hate it, because I am going to be all alone tonight. :X

Going to bed soon. Sleep tight everyone. Goodnight! :)

Accident.

Remember how I was saying that things don't last and tomorrow might never come? 

Woke up this morning to a news that a friend, Orpheus, met with a terrible accident in Alor Gajah. He is now in Hospital Melaka receiving treatments and his condition is still not stable. Will keep him in prayers and hopefully everything will be fine for him. :(

Guys, keep him in your prayers too and prays that he pulls through this one. 

The Sin of Ingratitude.

I am blessed. I know I am. But you know how sometimes, we, as flawed creations, tend to not remember to be thankful for the blessings we received. Hmm, I would say that we often take things for granted? I am of no exception. People tell me that I am ungrateful, yes I admit I am. I guess sometimes (well, most of the time) I forget to be thankful for all that I have. People tend to want more, more and MORE of everything. Minimal is never enough and so does the maximum. Bigger cars, more money in the banks, bigger investments, better designer outfits. We tend to seek and crave for more. The more, the better? Men are selfish. What do you expect? Humanity has had a materialistic, selfish, 'me-first' existence. Many a times, we take things for granted, that things and people will always be there. How can we be sure that the ones we treasure and love will still be there tomorrow? What if there is never going to be a tomorrow?   

Few days ago, I was complaining about being lonely and having no one to talk to, but when I look back, I have people that love me. I have my family, friends, relatives, these are the folks that I have but why do I still feel the need for more companions? Yes, I take my parents for granted, my siblings who were always there to annoy me, and my friends who are there to accompany me and put up to my bad mood-swings and whimpers but I never seem to thank them for that. Was I really that selfish? 

Maybe there is no such thing as unhappiness. Maybe unhappiness is derived from being ungrateful. Maybe there are no maybes. It's the universal truth! Unhappy people are often the ungrateful ones. And I am ashamed for having to say that I am included in one of those people in the ungrateful category. Quoting 1 John 2:16, he said that "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." 

I am not saying that I am going to INSTANTLY change into a new leave and start being that angel and not whine about anything and just be happy with whatever I have. No, of course it's not going to be easy. In fact, it's gonna be one hell of a task and strength. Everyday in our life, we have to deal with temptations of all kinds, and it is not easy to just be contented and happy with everything that you have when you are being surrounded by the everyday's temptation of the world. However, what I am trying to say is that I am going to do my utmost best to remind myself EVERYDAY to be thankful for the little things in life, for the people around me, for the food and shelter and clothes. In fact, I might even start being grateful for the uphill battles in life. And for the people that have problems with me. And for the ones that misunderstood me. And for the scorching weather in Malaysia. And the people that agitates me, and the barbaric rampant bikers, and that anne there who never did like taking food orders from me, and uncivilized tenants who literally throw their rubbish from a higher floor to ground floor. Thank you because you people gave me free anger management classes everyday. 

Today, I am grateful for the people I call FRIENDS. For the ones that stick with me through thick and thin. For the ones who had to put up with my atrocious mood swings and temper. For the ones who put up with all my nonsensical and senseless grunts and bawls. The ones who believed in me when no one else did. The ones who have seen me in my most fragile and ugly moments. And most of all I am thankful for the ones who stayed. 

Thank you. :)

"In everything give thanks"

Dim-sum.

Phew, finally back to my room after dim-sum session. That was a long walk from my apartment to the dim-sum shop. -.- Oh ya finally yesterday I managed to get some sleep after a GAZILLION (a bit of the exaggeration, but that is how it felt like!) of phone calls, whatsapps and text messages. I should have known better to have off my phone. And I woke at 7 am when little kitty start scratching on the room door. I could never get mad at him for doing so because he is a lovely! By he, I meant the cat. He was super hyperactive this morning that I was starting to think that he was on weed or something. Hmm. And so after being awakened by his hyper-activeness, decided to go for dim-sum breakfast.

Yesterday's Environmental paper is the first paper in this semester where I started laughing after seeing the questions. HAHA FML. Ask me what I poured out in the paper and how I even managed to write two booklets? Ask me ask me! Well, I'll tell anyhow. Total bullshit + common sense. LOL. Principles of Sustainable development in WCED applied in Malaysia and Public smth Litigation, Principle 17 of the Rio Declaration, history and evolution of environmental law in Malaysia pre-merdeka and post-merdeka period. blehhhhh mehhhh ehhhh? Can't believe the questions are still intact at the back of my mind. Whatever whatever. Next up, and FINALLY, finally finally the final paper for this semester is Public and International Law paper. yawwnns.  

Hmm, the end of the semester has come for some of us, but not all of us. Many have even went back to their beloved hometown, and I am going to be stuck here in Melaka for the whole of three weeks settling and planning for the next semester's master plan for my society. Okay not complaining NOT COMPLAINING. I chose this path and I wanted it so no complains allowed. I miss my momma and little brother, so gonna head back home for a few days and after that, well, how should I put this beautifully.. Hmm, the commencement of strings of formal or informal deliberative assembly of individuals called to debate certain issues and problem? Nah that sounds so boring. How about 'an assembly of people coming together to decide what person or department not represented in the room must solve a problem.?' Eh? Whatever. Strings of meeting awaits me. MEETINGS. Oh how much I despise them but have to call and attend them anyway. 

Oh ya, yesterday a friend returned me a toothbrush, like really? Why not just throw it away? People and their irrelevant sense. 

I am in no mood to study, can I just sleep and forget everything for a moment. I am missing someone and it makes me sad. :( I hate semester breaks because everyone will be returning to their hometowns and even your hometown friends will be away studying and you will stuck, all alone, with shit of workload to be done, all alone. humph. Today's post is so messed up, just like its writer. Meow. I guess I got to learn to be alone. Not used to it but I guess I have to get use to this deafening silence and emptiness and just learn to live with myself. Right? 

Enough with my whimpering rants. Gotta go shower and start studying. 

Before that, here's some pictures from this morning's breakfast. 

Happily, beautifully, uniquely, stunningly gorgeous people I call FRIENDS. 

Chu Shir Ling and I.

Oh my dim-sum

More and more and more and MORE!

Spot the Illuminati sign and empty plates. 

Have a wonderful day!

Cheers! :)

John Mayer - I Will Be Found (Lost At Sea)

                                                    "I Will Be Found (Lost At Sea)"

It doesn't matter where you roam
When no one's left to call you home
I might have strayed a bit too far
I'm countin' all the moonlit stars

I'm a little lost at sea
I'm a little birdie in a big old tree
Ain't nobody looking for me
Here out on the highway

But I will be found
I will be found
When my time comes down
I will be found

Some days, I think it's all okay
Some nights, I throw it all away
I saw her face and I could tell
My ghost had left the town as well and

I'm a little lost at sea
I'm a little birdie in a big old tree
Ain't nobody looking for me
Here out on the highway

But I will be found
I will be found
When my time comes down
I will be found

I'm a little lost at sea
I'm a little birdie in a big old tree
Ain't nobody looking for me
Here out on the highway

Maybe I'm a runaway train
Maybe I'm a feather in a hurricane
Maybe it's a long played game
But maybe that's a good thing

Cause I will be found
I will be found
When my time comes down
I will be found

So I keep runnin' 'til my run is gone
Keep on ridin' 'til I see that dawn
And I will be found
I will be found

Listening to John Mayer minutes before my Environmental Law paper.

Wish me luck :X

Hi.

I know I am supposed to be studying for tomorrow's Environmental law paper but.. 5 minutes for me to procrastinate, pretty please? Today's Land paper was a pain in the ass and I didn't even managed to finish my last question. :'( 

Reminiscing back, I really miss my Alpha years in university. I don't remember having so much stress like now. Mehhhh. But but, am not complaining okay, just to put the emphasis that I really enjoyed my Alpha years but hey, I am no Benjamin Button aite, so yeah, got to keep moving forward no matter how difficult it is. Life is not always gonna be a bed of roses so one has got to man up and suck all that petty emotions in and be a tough bitch. A woman has got to do what she has got to do. HAHA saying this reminds me of a poem written by Maya Angelou entitled "Phenomenal Woman". Wait let me search the poem for you guys.

Anndd here it is. 

Phenomenal Woman

By Maya Angelou 

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

This poem just has something in it that it makes you feel so empowered and driven after reading it. the feeling would be I-am-awake-alive-and-ready-to-conquer-the-world feeling. But hey, to all you man out there, you don't have to feel diffident about it, like we, women are over shadowing you or something. Maybe you should go find yourself a poem to, you know just to boost up your self-confidence or something, or maybe not. But hey, no offence. I fully understand and acknowledge that generalisation and stereotyping is wrong and not all man are similar. There are still some who are,yes, I have to admit, responsible and not those who just sit around and waste parents money and lure girls into their charm just to get into their pants. Sorry if I am starting to sound a little bitter, it's just that these type of 'man' really gets on my nerves. Like hey, why don't you just be a gigolo instead then, you might as well gain a profit out of that rather than nothing at all right? Again, I apologized if my post this time has offended any of you. 

My current stress-reliever Mr Meoowwwww :

"Why are you taking snapshots of me?!"

"Read me instead!"

"Don't touch me!"

Well, the captions are just captions of what I think little kitty there is thinking. Meow. 

Dad just sent me a message asking me why the PLKN letters keep coming in again, like how am I supposed to know if those dumdass forgot that I actually attended their freaking PLKN program for two months plus. URGH talking about inefficiency. 

Anyhow, I think I took more than 5 minutes updating my blog. 9 unread chapters of Environmental Law awaits me and a rumbling stomach that is saying, "Feed me momma!". 

BYE!