"Max" and "Mary".

The movie "Max and Mary" brought tears to my eyes. The movie is a claymation centred on a young girl, named Mary. She lives in a small Australian town with her alcoholic mother, her shed-loving father and her pet rooster. One day, she decides to write to Max who lives in New York to find out if babies came from the bottom of beer glasses as they do in Australia (as according to Mary's father). Max is a lonely, middle aged man with Asperger's syndrome. From there, a unique relationship begins between them. 

Many things could be learnt from this movie. It takes us on a journey to explore friendship, autism, taxidermy, psychiatry, alcoholism, obesity, kleptomania, sexual differences, trust, religion, self-worth, love, imperfections and much much more. This movie stresses a lot on relationships among people and animals, and mostly evolves around the theme of friendship. As Dr Bernard Hazelhof said to Max, I quote:

"We'd have to accept ourself, our warts and all, and that we don't get to choose our warts. They are a part of us and we have to live with them. We can, however, choose our friends. A true friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes."

It also teaches us the importance of forgiveness. Again quoting Max J. Horowitz,

"The reason I forgive you is because you are not prefect. You are imperfect, and so am I"

 This movie has an excellent 'dark' humors and its wittiness kept me laughing throughout the movie. I LOVE it how at the end, the director quoted:

"God gave us relatives... thank God we can choose our friends."

Below are few of the very quotes in the movie that touches me:

1. "Humans were endlessly illogical. Why did they throw out food when there were children starving in India? Why did they clear the rainforests when they needed the oxygen? And why did they create bus timetables when they never ran on time?"  

2. "Do not worry about not smiling. My mouth hardly ever smiles, but it doesn't mean I'm not smiling inside my brain." 

3. "I find the world very confusing and chaotic.""People often confuse me but I try not to let them worry me." 

4. "Love was not like Rubik's Cube. It could not be solved." 

5. "People often think I'm tactless and rude. I cannot understand how being honest can be ..... improper."

6. "You are not a magic beauty cream you can smooth on the world to rid it of its wrinkles."

7. "Everyone's lives are like a very long sidewalk. Some are well paved, others have cracks, banana skins and cigarette butts." 

One of the most important lesson I have learnt from this movie is the importance of loving yourself first before you can love someone else. We all know this, but still, at times I guess, we forget the simple rule to love ourselves first. Note to myself, ALWAYS ALWAYS love myself first. So must you okay? You, the one reading this, get this phrase into that brain of yours and shut it in and may it be a reminder for you every single time. In fact, I think that before people can actually utter the "I love you" phrase, they must be able to say "I love me" first without feeling awkward or whatsoever. I LOVE ME I LOVE ME I LOOOVEEE ME!

Hence, the next time you are feeling down or about to give up on life, just remember that there will always be a "Max" or "Mary" who will understand you, supports you and always be there for you to share condensed milk and chocolate hamburgers to lift you up again. See, the world is not all dull as what some of us claims it to be. With friends like "Max" and "Mary", your days can never be dull or lonely. I have found my "Max" and "Mary", have you? ;) 

Cheers! :)

The Sin of Ingratitude.

I am blessed. I know I am. But you know how sometimes, we, as flawed creations, tend to not remember to be thankful for the blessings we received. Hmm, I would say that we often take things for granted? I am of no exception. People tell me that I am ungrateful, yes I admit I am. I guess sometimes (well, most of the time) I forget to be thankful for all that I have. People tend to want more, more and MORE of everything. Minimal is never enough and so does the maximum. Bigger cars, more money in the banks, bigger investments, better designer outfits. We tend to seek and crave for more. The more, the better? Men are selfish. What do you expect? Humanity has had a materialistic, selfish, 'me-first' existence. Many a times, we take things for granted, that things and people will always be there. How can we be sure that the ones we treasure and love will still be there tomorrow? What if there is never going to be a tomorrow?   

Few days ago, I was complaining about being lonely and having no one to talk to, but when I look back, I have people that love me. I have my family, friends, relatives, these are the folks that I have but why do I still feel the need for more companions? Yes, I take my parents for granted, my siblings who were always there to annoy me, and my friends who are there to accompany me and put up to my bad mood-swings and whimpers but I never seem to thank them for that. Was I really that selfish? 

Maybe there is no such thing as unhappiness. Maybe unhappiness is derived from being ungrateful. Maybe there are no maybes. It's the universal truth! Unhappy people are often the ungrateful ones. And I am ashamed for having to say that I am included in one of those people in the ungrateful category. Quoting 1 John 2:16, he said that "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." 

I am not saying that I am going to INSTANTLY change into a new leave and start being that angel and not whine about anything and just be happy with whatever I have. No, of course it's not going to be easy. In fact, it's gonna be one hell of a task and strength. Everyday in our life, we have to deal with temptations of all kinds, and it is not easy to just be contented and happy with everything that you have when you are being surrounded by the everyday's temptation of the world. However, what I am trying to say is that I am going to do my utmost best to remind myself EVERYDAY to be thankful for the little things in life, for the people around me, for the food and shelter and clothes. In fact, I might even start being grateful for the uphill battles in life. And for the people that have problems with me. And for the ones that misunderstood me. And for the scorching weather in Malaysia. And the people that agitates me, and the barbaric rampant bikers, and that anne there who never did like taking food orders from me, and uncivilized tenants who literally throw their rubbish from a higher floor to ground floor. Thank you because you people gave me free anger management classes everyday. 

Today, I am grateful for the people I call FRIENDS. For the ones that stick with me through thick and thin. For the ones who had to put up with my atrocious mood swings and temper. For the ones who put up with all my nonsensical and senseless grunts and bawls. The ones who believed in me when no one else did. The ones who have seen me in my most fragile and ugly moments. And most of all I am thankful for the ones who stayed. 

Thank you. :)

"In everything give thanks"

Dim-sum.

Phew, finally back to my room after dim-sum session. That was a long walk from my apartment to the dim-sum shop. -.- Oh ya finally yesterday I managed to get some sleep after a GAZILLION (a bit of the exaggeration, but that is how it felt like!) of phone calls, whatsapps and text messages. I should have known better to have off my phone. And I woke at 7 am when little kitty start scratching on the room door. I could never get mad at him for doing so because he is a lovely! By he, I meant the cat. He was super hyperactive this morning that I was starting to think that he was on weed or something. Hmm. And so after being awakened by his hyper-activeness, decided to go for dim-sum breakfast.

Yesterday's Environmental paper is the first paper in this semester where I started laughing after seeing the questions. HAHA FML. Ask me what I poured out in the paper and how I even managed to write two booklets? Ask me ask me! Well, I'll tell anyhow. Total bullshit + common sense. LOL. Principles of Sustainable development in WCED applied in Malaysia and Public smth Litigation, Principle 17 of the Rio Declaration, history and evolution of environmental law in Malaysia pre-merdeka and post-merdeka period. blehhhhh mehhhh ehhhh? Can't believe the questions are still intact at the back of my mind. Whatever whatever. Next up, and FINALLY, finally finally the final paper for this semester is Public and International Law paper. yawwnns.  

Hmm, the end of the semester has come for some of us, but not all of us. Many have even went back to their beloved hometown, and I am going to be stuck here in Melaka for the whole of three weeks settling and planning for the next semester's master plan for my society. Okay not complaining NOT COMPLAINING. I chose this path and I wanted it so no complains allowed. I miss my momma and little brother, so gonna head back home for a few days and after that, well, how should I put this beautifully.. Hmm, the commencement of strings of formal or informal deliberative assembly of individuals called to debate certain issues and problem? Nah that sounds so boring. How about 'an assembly of people coming together to decide what person or department not represented in the room must solve a problem.?' Eh? Whatever. Strings of meeting awaits me. MEETINGS. Oh how much I despise them but have to call and attend them anyway. 

Oh ya, yesterday a friend returned me a toothbrush, like really? Why not just throw it away? People and their irrelevant sense. 

I am in no mood to study, can I just sleep and forget everything for a moment. I am missing someone and it makes me sad. :( I hate semester breaks because everyone will be returning to their hometowns and even your hometown friends will be away studying and you will stuck, all alone, with shit of workload to be done, all alone. humph. Today's post is so messed up, just like its writer. Meow. I guess I got to learn to be alone. Not used to it but I guess I have to get use to this deafening silence and emptiness and just learn to live with myself. Right? 

Enough with my whimpering rants. Gotta go shower and start studying. 

Before that, here's some pictures from this morning's breakfast. 

Happily, beautifully, uniquely, stunningly gorgeous people I call FRIENDS. 

Chu Shir Ling and I.

Oh my dim-sum

More and more and more and MORE!

Spot the Illuminati sign and empty plates. 

Have a wonderful day!

Cheers! :)

Relation-SHITS.

Hi peeps, I know its been a while since I last blog. its been a very hectic semester indeed. and plus all those crazy, bullshit, unnecessary dramas and stress that I put myself into lately. But now that I got it out of my system (at least I think I had), Hopefully I will be able to put my whole 'divine' attention and dedication into studying and also my beloved Law Society. Well, as boring as it may sound, I have too. Part and parcel of a being a student I guess. yawnnn. So many things had happened in the past few days. I don't even know where to begin.  

You know that moment when you are too afraid to be happy because whenever you get too happy, gravity just knocks you back down and pull you straight into the core of the earth and then you realised, hey, everything is just not going to be okay anymore. One moment you feel like you almost reach heaven, and then God decides to slam his mysterious plans at you, and BOOM, down you go again, to being dreadful and full of misery and pathetic. I can't remember the last time I was being happy. They say happiness of to be created, not seek. really? 

But then again, who am I to point fingers. I blame myself entirely, because I am an idiot, who does not learnt from my past and who trusts easily and falls for words instead of actions. I realised that anger makes people speak the truth, I guess I had to do what I did that night to get the truth out from his own mouth, and true enough, instantly I had it. The hard, cold truth. Don't you know, its all about the game plan baby. Two can play the game. As evil-sadistic-spawned-bitch-from-hell as I may sound, I had to do what I had to do. I admit that it was not easy hearing those hurtful words (I cried my heart out, mind you), but then again, I have no one to blame but myself.

Anyhow, I am glad that it is now over. You see, I hate all these mushy, emotional, lovey-dopey sickening romance or whatever you call it. It makes me sick. Emotions makes you weak! Why would anyone want to be involved in something that makes you weak and when it comes, it affects you, it screws you up and tumbles your world apart and makes you stupid and clingy and attached. So yeah, I don't mind growing old with nine cats. 

In  River Piedra I Sat Down and Wep by Paulo Coelho (my all time favourite author), he wrote, 

“I've been in love before, it's like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things.You think about the person you love for two minutes then forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love." 

Now, why would anyone wants to put themselves in that position? Is it not tiring and stupid and burdensome and STUPID? 

Some of you might criticised me for saying this, but hey, every woman to her own thoughts ya. So please save the comments and criticism to yourself. Thanks! 

My books are calling me now. Got to go read them all. LOL. Till then, adios and see you soon.

Cheers! 

“We don't always choose the best solution but we carry on regardless, trying to remain upright and decent in order to do honor not to the walls or the doors or the windows but to the empty space inside, the space where we worship and venerate what is dearest and most important to us.” 

Decisions.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about life. what am I doing actually? Am I doing the correct thing? Am I making the correct decision? What do I want actually? These questions, these doubts, why do I have them? What is it that is stopping me from doing what I truly want, from making the decision that I will be happy with? Deep down, while I was asking myself that, I figured out the answer. Fear. That is what is stopping me. Peer pressure, its making me do things what the society wants me to do and not what i want. I guess I got caught in the trends of the society that I lost myself in trying to satisfy everyone, but myself. That is indeed a sad fact. For these whole week, I have been a very indecisive person. But then, again, when I come to think about it, indecisiveness has been one of my weakness. I have always questions my decisions and have doubts about it. What if I made the wrong decisions? What if I regret my path that I have chosen? What if what if what if? 

But what if the decision that I took was the right one? Who knows what it might have in store for me. It might be good or it might just be as bad. Have you ever made a decision that you certainly sure about then it only turns out to be a major disappointment to you? Have your decisions turned out to be total failure, disruption and disappointment instead of the opposite? 

But then again, maybe it did not matter whether the decision is a bad or a good one, maybe it does not matter whether we will regret that decision or be glad about it. Maybe what matters is the fact that we actually took the first step to make that decision and whether we are happy or sad with the outcome, at least we never cease to learn something new, to gain a new experience, to venture into something new. And maybe that kinda experience is the one that will build us up and make us stronger as an individual in the process. 

 

I am always full of doubts and fear. Too many what ifs, too many doubts, too much questioning. I think its time for me to be decisive. I have to know what is it that i really want right? 

So goodnight world, I have some important decisions to make tomorrow and I have to set some things right again. But I promise to keep you updated about those decisions that I took. Because I believe that I still have a lot more to learn, a lot more challenges to face and although, at times I may feel afraid and be full of doubts, I promise to set those negativity aside and focus on the positivity. And yes, it is not easy, I know, but then again, neither is it impossible to do. I pray that God will give me the strength and courage to face whatever it is that will come on my way.